What role does the ability to build relationships with other people play in our lives? A very important one, I think. What does the term “relationship” mean in general? Love life, business dealings with different people, communication with friends and family, connections with helpful people and much more. The point is, relations between people aren’t always smooth and effective.
Relationship issues are just well described by a famous saying: where there’s a will there’s a way. The reason is, we aren’t taught to competently build contacts with each other.We learn this ourselves, based on our life experience, and not on any special knowledge.
This is particularly true for students. Student life implies a new stage, a new atmosphere, new people, and new difficulties, including relationship difficulties.
Relationship problems – no matter with your family, soulmate, or fellow students – will have a very negative effect on all areas of life: study, mood, productivity, and even health. They lead to misunderstanding, frequent breaks, mental crack-ups, dumps, and sometimes, to somatic ailments and illnesses. In short, it’s a constant source of sadness and suffering.
So, you need to get rid of such problems. But how? That, of course, is easier said than done. Here I’ll try to help you figure out where to start.
Nothing of value can be gained without effort. The more we invest in relationships, the more successful they will be. What is the key to good fellowship? 6 important things. Let’s dwell a bit on this.
All people look the same: legs, arms, head, ears, a nose… Therefore, we’re often sure that all people are just like us. What’s the truth? People can be so different in their desires, characters, goals, abilities! We’re born in families with different cultural backgrounds, read different books, grow up in different conditions. Everyone has their addictions and habits. Many of us are simply unable to hear even constructive arguments that contradict their picture of the world.
This is precisely what gives rise to a misunderstanding: I want specific things from a particular person, I put certain expectations on him, not even allowing myself to suppose that a person may want something opposite.
Many men, many minds. You always need to keep it in mind. Take people as you find them and things will work out.
Being in contact with people, we constantly interact with their borders and ours. This is a kind of dance. Taking the wrong step, you can squeeze somebody’s foot or collide with your foreheads.
Unfortunately, many people devote time to thinking about the borders of others, absolutely not caring about their own. Everything that should excite you is inside your space: caring for the body, interests, values, and beliefs. When you protect your borders, you show respect for those of other people.
It may seem strange, but it makes no sense to protect other people’s borders. You still cannot predict the reaction of others and how your action will be perceived. It’s an illusion that we know what the other person will think.
How often do you recall old grievances? Do you think this helps build relationships? I’m sure you know the answers to these questions. Such regular reminders can spoil and destroy even the most wonderful and strong relationships.
Remembering the past, you reinforce those unpleasant feelings a thousand times. Are you just training your memory? Checking yourself, maybe you’ve forgotten anything? Why do you need to remember all the slights? What is the use? Well, how to be and what to do? Stop calling to mind your grievances all the time. Work on present relationships. Focus on what you have now.
What does it mean when we say to respect other men’s opinions and choices? First of all, this did not imply to accept and recognize as the only true. I take care of my personality, my thoughts, ideas, and knowledge and I won’t change them right there, having come across a different opinion. For me, respect means “to pay attention”. So to respect someone else’s choice or opinion means to admit that a person feels more comfortable with these beliefs. That’s it.
Conflicts are an integral part of the student’s relationship. We just can’t avoid them. Everybody has own desires and habits, which often contradict the needs of the other person. The closer we’re to each other, the more conflicts arise.
In any difficult communication situation, you should seek a compromise. Often it’s considered as a concession to other people’s whims and a sign of the weakness. But this is completely wrong. A compromise isn’t a concession but a solution that is acceptable to everyone.
Want to have warm relationships? Develop your negotiation skills and learn to strike a compromise.
You probably know such easy-going people around whom everything seems to be getting brighter. It seems that everything comes easy to them: health, wealth, excellent relationships. Why this is happening? The answer is simple – they know how to feel, radiate, and attract positive energy!
Hardly anyone will say “I think negatively, I destroy my thoughts, and my negativism creates additional obstacles in relations with people”. But think, are you often in a bad mood and do you complain about life? May this be the reason for your relationship troubles?
Let’s be honest – no one likes whiners. Positive thinking is the primary means to overcome negative energy in your life and relationships. Reprogram your pattern of thinking. Every time you want to put your thoughts into a dull depressive-pessimistic channel, immediately stop yourself and switch to positive emotions. For instance, if you get sick, don’t say “That’s awful! I’m dying!”. Change it to “Everything is fine; I’m starting treatment”.
And no, I don’t mean to smile 24/7 for no reason. I’m talking about trying to see the good around you, share positive emotions and not to focus on annoying things. You’ll begin to make the right choice more often, you’ll be more productive, you’ll attract nice people into your life, solve problems, and achieve results. You’ll have the patience to withstand any relationship problems.
Family relationships are always difficult. Good family relationships are doubly more difficult. No one is born an ideal parent or a perfect child. Most often you have to try to make a warm and trusting relationship with your parents.
Each generation lives in due time, faces its problems. Children grow up learning a different culture and use new technologies. The world is changing every day, and the views of parents often remain conservative, which affects the understanding of parents and children. Are you an independent student but still cannot find a common language with your family? Let’s take a look at the most common issues in family relationships.
1. They try to control you. Do you want them to see you as an adult independent person and not to get into your life with advice? Be an adult! Start living on your own without their help.
I think that’s quite obvious. Mom and dad aren’t some higher beings endowed with universal wisdom. They’re not your lifelong support, the purpose of which is to provide your comfort or nourish self-esteem. Get the main thing: they allowed you to become who you’re today. Don’t demand anything else. In return, you’ll get the right to be yourself; not to adapt to their expectations and follow advice – just live as you think is right.
2. You try to control them. Think that your parents live wrong: they spend time and money for nothing, don’t learn new things, watch stupid TV shows, and even refuse to be treated? Well, you, of course, know better how to live! Don’t you think I say it with irony? Your understanding of what is happening has long been ahead of them. You follow the right news, master the latest technology, read progressive magazines. They seem to you big and stubborn children, causing a lot of trouble.
Remember one thing – you cannot change them, but you can come to terms. If you need to convey some important thought to your parents, find associates. Brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, family friends – the more people join your words, the better.
3. Some of you hold old grudges. Can’t talk normally with mom because of bad childhood memories? Did she give you the nanny? Have your parents always been busy at work and haven’t paid attention to you? There can be many reasons for grudges. The past often interferes with our present and makes it difficult to build harmonious relationships with family.
Well, you need to talk frankly with your parents. Perhaps they don’t even realize how much their behavior offended their child. Not all adults are smart and empathic enough to analyze every act and word. Think, will it be easier for you if your relatives apologize sincerely? If so, then try to talk about grievances and complaints. It’s hard to get started. But as soon as you step over fear and constraint, it’ll become easier.
4. You spend a little time together. Parents may be offended if children pay little attention to them. They call only once a week, rarely come, and don’t invite over. To find a common language with your parents, try spending more time with them. Do that picnic thing, visit theaters or exhibitions, or go to the country. You’ll see for yourself how much better your relationship will become.
There are a lot of student’s problems as you probably know. Personal relationships play an important role among them. An ideal relationship is possible only at the very beginning. Later, there are completely different stages. All couples have relationship problems, that’s true. At this time, you need to decide whether you’re ready to work on relationships and solve these problems.
Conflicts and quarrels aren’t always a reason to doubt your feelings. Let’s see what problems in relationships shouldn’t be ashamed because almost every couple faces them.
1. There is jealousy in a relationship. Jealousy is difficult to control, but to some extent, all couples go through it, especially at the beginning of a relationship. You shouldn’t cultivate this feeling and provoke each other. If any of you are naturally jealous, try to communicate and build trust in a couple. This is a destructive emotion, so don’t let it affect your relationship.
2. You don’t have enough attention from each other. Is it difficult for you to combine your schedules? See each other once a week, and all attempts to plan a joint weekend turn into battles? This is a very common problem in modern couples. You feel moving away and angry even if no one is to blame.
Sometimes you have to give up a hobby, overtime work, or additional obligations to maintain a relationship. The balance between personal life and everything else isn’t easy, but you should strive for it.
3. You have different interests. Or there are even different worldviews – for instance, specific lifestyles. It’ll be very difficult for a raw vegan to build and maintain relationships with someone who cannot imagine life without meat and pastries. A person who starts the day with yoga and meditation will hardly be on the same wavelength as a beer lover. Want to keep a relationship? Well, look for a compromise. And most importantly, don’t try to change your partner.
Disputes over which movie to watch tonight and other disagreements of that kind are a normal part of a relationship. You can sometimes get angry at how your loved one can watch such a stupid TV show or listen to bloggers on YouTube for hours. But this doesn’t mean that you don’t match up. Be open and ready to know each other’s interests, but don’t force them if your partner doesn’t like them. Look for what unites you, and leave time and space for individual preferences.
4. You don’t talk to each other. The simple inability to speak has broken many good couples. If you want to have a successful relationship, you need to communicate more with each other. You must learn to find out everything during the conversation, explaining to each other all the nuances. But don’t attack each other, putting forward ultimatums, raising your voice, and trying to manipulate. In short, a dialogue is key to a happy relationship.
No matter how good the relationship is, conflicts happen between people. Sooner or later, any person has to enter into a dispute, defending his or her opinion and refuting the positions of other people. It’s very important not to cross the border between active discussion and conflict behavior. Want to know how? Check out some tips to keep the argument constructive.
Keep these tips in mind and you won’t have relationship problems even in case of a dispute.
Unlikely someone will come up with something better than the old golden rule of communication: “Treat people the way you want to be treated”. Like seeks like. Would you be surprised that a mercenary, greedy, and irritable person has friends at the same moral level? I’m sure you wouldn’t. Only a positive attitude and friendliness will stand in good stead in building relationships.
Nobody succeeds alone. All of us are more or less dependent on others. Therefore, your relationships with people affect your quality of life. You’re a student. You have so many opportunities to make friendly relations – don’t miss your chance!